So I came across this article a while back and it has been in my mind that it would be helpful to others who may not have read it or thought of these things. What I have been challenged by is that while this has not plagued my marriage it did my single life years ago. I believe that if you spoke to my wife there are times these things are still present because of those choices and I find myself drawn to temptation quickly. If I am not careful I would easily be slain by these sins again.
For those of you who are married consider these points. For those of you who are single, spend time praying over this issue, it will have effects long past your time of pleasure and many of which you never consider until years later. I would encourage you to speak to a married man in your church about this issue if you are willing to be frank. Hand him this article and ask him to help you process how it impacts your life as a single man.
by Stephen Miller
John is a normal guy, a Christian, a business man and a good father who happens to struggle with a pornography addiction. Introduced to pornography at the young age of eleven, he just seems to always struggle with the pull of it. Growing up, getting through school, marrying and having two kids helped life to seem normal but always right there under the surface is this pull of the forbidden that he always seems to lose. John has great intentions and every time he fails, he tells himself, “this is the last time”. John doesn’t share his struggle with his wife because it will probably upset her, and it just affects him anyways, right?
Christine is John’s wife and constantly struggles with her self-image. She never feels quite settled or secure in her marriage. Although John is a good provider and always comes home, there are times when he just seems to check out. Although he is nice to her most of the time, sometimes he just seems to pick her apart. It is those times that Christine thinks about most days and wonders if she’s good enough for John and if he is eventually going to find someone else if she doesn’t measure up a little better as a wife. So Christine struggles, she tries to work out, she tries different makeup, different hairstyles, better outfits, and although the new works for a little while, it eventually settles back in to those same old uncomfortable interactions that leaves her feeling less than.
You must choose pure relationships over secret sin.
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There are many different definitions of leadership that any number of us could adhere to. The questions of being satisfied with any particular definition is always two-fold. First, does it say too much? and Second, does it not say enough? The tough question is where is the middle ground that we would all agree on.
deliberatemen.com 